When I run in the morning, I have my course. There is a small creek near the Safety Third Compound that is my stopping point for 50 jumping jacks. The bridge now covered with frost, demands more focus. I could break a hip at my age. I’ve only missed a handful of days since June, running to that bridge to count my jumping jacks. I was counting to 49 until my 50th birthday. Counting was part of the exercise and focusing on one hanging leaf. I stared at the same leaf every morning until it recently yellowed with the season and fell to the ground.
Initially it was hard to focus with bears, moose, and any other occasional passerby. I would count staring down that leaf like it owed me money. My initial focus workouts, I would glance away from the aspen leaf by a small passing bird or the snap of a twig. I watched the leaf all summer counting jumping jacks. I got through the distractions better every day and figured if a lion snapped the twig, it could be something to write about. I did have a dog sniff my butt, I turned to see it’s attractive owner and was disappointed she claimed “it wasn’t her”. That was a test.
My repeated head injuries have made me want to rebuild what may have been damaged. My intent is to rebuild my focus. I’ve read you can rebuild the brain. The carrot that dangles in front of me (like my leaf). It’s taken a minute to learn how to read again, especially books on neuroscience. My greatest take-away is that learning can take place at any age, but there’s work to do. Every brain is different, every brain injury is different and the way we learn must be customized.
My focus needed more testing. Was counting and staring at leaves benefiting my focus. Just sitting in coffee shops stealing Wi-Fi while trying to write is a struggle. Chilling in this bookstore now not focusing on all the books that I haven’t read is a new distraction.
Reading has been a lifelong struggle. I’m not sure if it was uninteresting books or the practice. I’ve only recently read a handful of books to completion and that’s a step to becoming a voracious reader. It was an accomplishment that I had taken for granted. One the latest books I have read was “On Writing” by Stephen King. For decades I’ve been told I would “love” Stephen King and I did “love” this book. “On Writing” isn’t about dark places or a fictional story intended to scare. This book has to do with the craft and his methods. I bought the Audible version to follow along with the text. I did feel a bit silly and embarrassed to have to read a book this way, but whatever it takes. I was frustrated with so many things that reading could remedy. To wake up these pathways and be able to read a book from such a prolific author was achievable. One of the many lessons of his book, if I wanted people to read my writing, I had to read theirs.
I’m now reading and have read several books. Increasing my focus daily by feeding my brain. Admitting Robbie cannot read so good was a big hurdle and then determining what needed to be done, took focus. Now how to focus on writing this blog.
My search for wellness on the net has taught me, the internet is bad for wellness. Not sure if my phone is listening or this bookstore has sold my purchase history to Major League Baseball and they’re reading my thoughts. This morning, turning on the computer (far too early) a link to a video from Christina Bengtsson was apparently a priority. Christina is a former military officer, precision shooter and has written books on focus. The algorithm of life (or my phone listening) telling me to watch her Ted Talk on Focus. Listening to Christina explain how we can regain concentration and build self-confidence; she had my focus. She’s that good. While training as a competitive biathlete, the pressure of always shooting a bullseye created stress and distraction. To combat the pressure, she would look away from the target to a small hanging leaf and change her focus.
My leaf watching has been forever changed but I was doin it before it was cool. Christina Bengtsson and her leaf watching story really set me back. For months I would run every morning looking forward to greeting my leaf and testing my focus. This morning the computer introduced me to a Focus Expert. Now to focus on the settings of all my devices and put tape over all the camera lenses. I’m reminded changing focus has great benefits and to step away from the internet.